Understanding the Conservative Dictionary

Lately I have been engaged in several debates and discussions with my conservative friends. I am often entertained with how they use words or phrases to exemplify a position or undercut my arguments. Since I find many of these tactics somewhat humorous, I decided to share some of the user’s perceived definitions and place them against the litmus test of reality. Enjoy the Conservative Dictionary!

2nd Amendment: The right of the people to keep and bear Arms shall not be infringed. Reality: A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed. The Framers were opposed to standing armies and felt it was the people’s role to defend the Free State (which is ironic given our current military structure).  There was purpose in gun ownership and the Founding Brothers always supported moderation in all things.

Birthers: Those who oppose any presidential nominee born outside of the United States as per the Constitution. Reality: This view really only applies to Democrat nominees. Currently one of the GOP presidential front-runners is Tea Party favorite Ted Cruz who was born in Canada. John McCain was born in Panama and George Romney was born in Mexico.

Communist: (also see Socialist) Conservatives are not really sure of the difference between a Socialist and Communist. Reality: Communism is COMPLETE governmental control of capital and resources. Nobody supports this, not liberals, not even Hitler.

Constitution: Our nation’s founding document that can only be correctly interpreted by conservatives. Reality: The Constitution is cherry picked by conservatives to fit their agenda. Appointing judges, nominating cabinet positions, controlling the executive branch, and conducting foreign policy fall squarely under the President’s command but is undermined by conservatives on a regular basis.  Advice and Consent by the Senate is being abused and the House of Representatives does not represent the majority of the people due to gerrymandering.

Gun Control: The belief that government is coming for your guns and undermining your rights. Reality: Gun control is common sense solutions to help curb the rampant violence being experienced in our country. Ideas such as the Brady Bill, background checks, concealed carry permits, resources for the ATF to enforce current laws, and gun dealer inventory requirements are all solutions that can help prevent a portion of our 30,000 gun related deaths each year.

Entitlements: The giving out of free handouts to the lazy and parasitic by the government. Reality: 60% of all entitlements go to seniors, 20% go to the disabled, 10% go to working families, and another 10% go to non-working individuals and families (including college students).  It should also be noted that red states take more entitlements per capita than blue states.

Executive Orders: A power grab by the President of the United States as a way to circumvent the Constitution. Reality: The President of the United States has the authority to regulate how the executive branch functions.

Family Values: The basis for America’s greatness and the aspiration of how we should live as a society. Reality: Conservatives use family values as an ambiguous argument trying to suppress any diversity in social norms.

Food Stamps: Free handouts to the lazy. Reality: 50% of all food stamps go to children, and another 15% to seniors. 1 in 5 veterans are also recipients of food stamps.

Liberal: Any person that expresses a difference of opinion with a conservative. Reality: A liberal is any person who fights for individual liberties. The definition has been twisted by conservatives and misused to represent any person offering a difference of opinion. Being labeled a liberal brings full discredit in any political conversation or debate with a conservative.

Liberal Media: Any media outside of conservative news sources. Reality: This term is used when conservatives lack a coherent response to any data being sourced.  This could be viewed as the ultimate debate cop-out which, by disregarding the source, immediately invalidates all arguments.

National Debt: The amount of money we have to borrow due to the President’s budget. Reality: The Debt is a function of multiple administrations impacting mandatory expenditures that cannot be changed unless reversed by the House, Senate, and President working together.

National Deficit: The same as the National Debt (really – I hear this all the time). Reality: The National Deficit is the annual (not total) gap in spending vs. receipts.

Pro-Choice: A liberal position that encourage woman to seek abortions for their poor choices. Reality: Pro-Choice does not mean pro-abortion. Abortion is a complicated choice and the decision cannot be lumped into one generic stereotype. Pro-Choice should be left up to the individual’s doctor, religious authority, family and not directed by government influence. It should also be noted that 30% of all abortions are by married women and the abortion rate has been declining rapidly since 1980.

Pro-Life: A position that believes the embryo is a living person, and the sanctity must be protected at all costs. Reality: Pro-life arguments typically end at conception.

Ronald Reagan: The ultimate conservative and the gold standard for Republicans. Reality: Ronald Reagan supported gun legislation, signed pro-choice legislation, passed two of the largest tax hikes in American history, tripled the National Debt, passed full access for the uninsured to use emergency rooms, provided amnesty for three million undocumented workers, and signed several pieces of social reform legislation into law.  I’m pretty sure he would be kicked out of the Republican party today.

RINO: Republican In Name Only Reality: Name given to any Republican that does not maintain total loyalty to party ideas and platforms. I have seen Republican legislators who vote with the party 95% of the time and still be labeled a RINO.

Science: A selective explanation of data and theory that can be opposed for political justification. Reality: Public opinion does not trump scientific data.

Socialist: (also see Communist) Any person who supports government programs, fair taxation policies, or pretty much anything that is associated with the Democratic Party. Reality: Socialism is governmental control of capital and resources. The police, fire department, public schools, libraries, national parks, roads and bridges, judicial system, and the military are all socialist organizations.  Our country has always been a mixed-market economic system balancing socialism and capitalism.

Tea Party: A political movement that is holding our leaders responsible both fiscally and conservatively. Reality: A political movement that brings little to no ideas to the table and uses opposition as its only weapon.  The Tea Party takes extreme stances on every conservative issue and has been detrimental to the party when it comes to elections (Republicans would have control of the Senate today if it wasn’t for Tea Party candidates).  The Tea Party creates gridlock and then points to the same gridlock as to why government doesn’t work.

Tyrannical Government: Our nation’s leadership making obsessive power grabs to suppress the ideas of the majority. Reality: A conservative narcissist phrase used as fear-mongering to generate divide among our citizens.  Simply refuted, ask any believer why a tyrannical government would willingly submit to public elections.


  1. You have got to love a liberal’s attempt to define a conservative. As a recovered Democrat and now an enlightened conservative let me suggest a few more definitions…And of course your definitions would be funny except that they are scarily close to what the left really believes.

    “Free Speech” – a theoretical concept enjoyed liberally by the left but not so much so by the right, unless of course the speech of the right corresponds to their political opponents.

    “Thuggery” – The punitive actions of the IRS leveled primarily against the conservative right in their efforts to suppress the “free speech” afforded to all because it threatens the status quo. It is made even more ‘thuggish’ when token attempts are made to give the appearance that this effort is being exercised evenhandedly against the right and the left when the “reality” clearly demonstrates the contrary, and more the worse when the leader of the party in charge is brazen enough to state with a straight face that there isn’t even a “smidgen of corruption” in the IRS’ actions. Maybe you should define “smidgen” for the President because in the immortal words of Inigo Montoya of Princess Bride fame,,,, “I do not think it means what you (or the President) think it means.”

    “Skulduggery” – The actions of far too many in the current administration, but especially those that manipulate the unemployment numbers, painting a very inaccurate picture of the labor situation. When we can tout what ‘appears’ to be improving unemployment but what is in fact worsening – considering that the number that is changing more substantively is the labor participation rate – then the real definition (underhanded or unscrupulous behavior; also a devious device or trick) is met. This is only one example of the skulduggery of this administration.

    “Buffoonery” – The words of the current Secretary of State, when he says, “In a sense, climate change can now be considered the world’s largest weapon of mass destruction, perhaps even, the world’s most fearsome weapon of mass destruction” never mind the crack pot dictator in North Korea or the despot in Syria that without restraint murders his own countrymen or the crazed fanatics in Iran that seem to able to move without consequence the “red line” our President drew with what appears to be disappearing red ink. The Ukraine is embroiled and innocent protesters killed in both Ukraine and Venezuela, and with all of this “climate change” is the “worlds largest weapon of mass destruction.” What better definition of buffoonery is there than this.

    “Tyrannical Government” – The Obama Administration….For if a ‘tyrant’ is one that has complete control over a country then perhaps the picture that should accompany this phrase in any U. S. political dictionary should be that of the current president, because that is what he seems to demand with his “I have a pen and a phone” approach to governance. Someone once said, “Elections have consequences” (who was that again???) so then one of these consequences for the President is his need to work with a Republican House. Reagan, Clinton and Bush all worked to accomplish their agenda with the opposition party even if they were not able to get all that they wanted. Obama, though, thinks that he can go it alone. How else is a tyrant defined. Though bully may be a better phrase.

    I rest my case….

  2. I love how progressive ‘Christians’ are the first to say people shouldn’t try to divide or demean people while at the same time demean conservatives or anyone who doesn’t believe what they do. Mormon dems are so full of hate and anger it’s sad. These definitions are childish and elementary. Instead of having an understanding on facts, history and conservatism, the author just posted talking points he’s heard from MSNBC or got from huffpo. Since Obama’s presidency more people are on food stamps, lost health care, we have the lowest number of people in the workforce since 1978 and the only thing liberals can do is bash conservatives with ad hominem attacks because they realize progressive and liberal ideas are failing.

  3. I think it’s funny that the author says he finds himself politically in the middle when there is not one conservative value he has. You don’t side with conservatives on social values either. You’re pro-choice.

  4. Thank you Snakpak for your feedback and reading our article. I would suggest you read several others that we have written on the site that successfully debunk just about every one of your talking points.

    You might also find it interesting that not a single source or claim from every single article we write comes from MSNBC and Huffpo. This is probably due to the case that none of our authors watch MSNBC — or any news network for that matter. In fact — I have found the most disingenuous arguments coming from the right is the liberal media claim (see “Liberal Media” above) which is invoked when there is little desire for productive debate.

    As far as me not being in the middle — Ill let my readers decide that. Thanks again for participating — but if you troll again with such comments as ” Mormon dems are so full of hate and anger it’s sad” you will be blocked from the board because you are making our readers dumber.


  5. I had a good laugh at your definitions! Thanks for the humor. As a very politically active citizen, who finds major flaws in both major parties, I found your resposes to be nothing more than Democrat/Liberal apologetics. Far left of the center. The “common sense” ideas you propose as realities are right out of the DNC talking points and have been shown to have little merit when applied in the real world. For example, “the Founding Brothers supported moderation in all things”……… really…… have you actually read anything written by the founders? In regards to the 2A, at the behest of “the founders” Tenche Cox explained its intent as being that the Citizen, as master, has rights to “every terrible tool of the soldier”. Moderation you say……… sounds plain and simple like an attempt to paint any view in opposition to yours as radical- no way- you wouldn’t be guilty of the very thing you are accusing Repubs/Conservatives of? 🙂

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